With divorce rates at an alarming 60% among caucasian couples, there is a greater need than ever before to thoroughly examine whether or not to get married. Although marriages don’t seem to work for a majority of couples, that doesn’t mean it can’t work for you. It just means there should be some extra precautions taken.

Marriage Differences

In the generations before us, people rushed into marriage at a very young age. It was just the “thing to do”. Society has gotten more complicated and people’s needs have grown to generally be a little more complex. Quite frankly, it’s harder for two people in today’s world to happily coexist than it was years before.

Marriage is much more of a risk for guys in today’s society than it was for our grandfathers. Relationships are much less patriarchal today. Decades ago, it was common for guys to effectively “acquire” a wife whose chief responsibilities were cooking, cleaning, and raising babies. If you haven’t looked around lately, women aren’t happy with this role any longer.

It’s All About Control

Marriage used to be an outlet for men to possess power in life. Even the most replaceable blue-collar worker could still come home from his job and have a family unit over which to exercise control. This is no longer the case. In fact, oftentimes the opposite tends to happen: the man loses much of the control he had over his life prior to getting married.

There’s a fascinating book called “Stumbling on Happiness”. It’s written by some elitist Harvard professor, but he did a good job putting everything in layman’s terms. The point of the book is that basically people aren’t that good at truly knowing what makes them happy and that, in general, having control is the best recipe for happiness.

Since guys have less control in marriages nowadays, married guys tend to be less happy than in previous generations. I’m not going to win any political correctness awards for saying this, but my advice is to only get married if you can control the woman you’re going to marry. Guys in today’s society are becoming increasingly feminine and lame. It’s gotten to the point that the women usually have  more power in marriages than men!

You don’t have to take my word for it, take the author of Stumbling on Happiness, Daniel Gilbert’s word for it. Control is the key to happiness.

Red Flags

In closing, here are a few “red flags” to look for when dating. If these warning signs are in place, I would strongly recommend not marrying the girl:

Mom is overweight; Girl on the verge of being overweight.

It’s hard to escape from one’s genes and upbringing. If the girl you’re dating is two hotdogs away from being a fatty, and her Mom is fat, I’ve got news for you: the future Mrs. You is going to blow up like a balloon once she gets that rock on her finger. After all, she made her sale. Why bother to keep the goods in top shape?

Propensity to be demanding.

Your life is going to be a living nightmare if you marry a demanding, ungrateful girl. There will always be another demand waiting in the wings once you satisfy her current complaint. If she can’t be happy now, then she’ll never be happy. Again, look to the Mom on this one. If the Mom is a bitch, good chance the girl becomes one too.

Isn’t as interested in sex as you are.

To some girls, sex is a mere chore that she must do in order to keep the guy around. There’s a saying: “Every time you have sex in your first year of marriage, put a penny in a jar. Every time you have sex in the years thereafter, take two pennies out of the jar. There will still be pennies in that jar until the day you die.” Heed this warning, fellas.

In closing, I would strongly advice against marrying a girl unless she’s: thin with a hot Mom, completely cool and non-needy, and very sexually adventurous. And even if all those things are in place, you should still ask yourself, “do I really need to get married?!”

To happiness and beyond, my redneck friend!

This entry was posted on Monday, December 22nd, 2008 at 3:47 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.